Jill Boultinghouse, MFT Therapist and Counselor

Counseling Through Loss & Grief

The Importance of Communicating in Times of Sadness

Many people think of “loss” as only pertaining to the death of a loved one. Loss can be experienced in the loss of a loved one who dies, but it can also be the loss of a relationship, such as through divorce. We lose people, relationships, places, dreams, jobs… When we lose there is a disruption in our lives. The level of impact the disruption has is affected by a number of factors. Some of these factors include: history of previous losses, timing and nature of loss, and function of who or what we lost. Some people who experience a significant loss may encounter depression, anxiety, or have somatic complaints. Identifying and communicating the loss are the beginning steps of moving to and through the grieving process.

Grief is a normal and healthy reaction to the loss of someone or something. Many experience painful feelings such as loneliness, anger and guilt. It is important to not judge these feelings. Instead, it is important to recognize all of your feelings and accept them as valid. Identifying and communicating your feelings will help you work through your grief. A therapist can be helpful in assisting you with identifying your feelings, conscious and unconscious ones, and assist you in finding helpful ways to communicate your feelings. It is also important to increase your support. Family, friends and support groups may be helpful.

As a therapist here in Orange County, I work with many loss and grief issues, including parents who are surviving the loss of their infant/child(ren).


Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated.
– Lamartine

Take my word for it, the saddest thing under the sky is a soul incapable of sadness.
– Countess de Gasparin