Jill Boultinghouse, MFT Therapist and Counselor

Divorce Counseling

Because Divorce is a Difficult Time

Whether you are initiating a divorce from your spouse, resisting a divorce or mutually divorcing, it is a period of huge adjustment and transition. Divorce is very difficult no matter if you are wanting a divorce, or not. It is incredibly painful for most. Sometimes the pain is so great that people become numb (a defense mechanism for great pain).

New roles have to be negotiated. For example, you may have to negotiate new assignments of tasks. Who takes the kids to soccer? Who tells friends and family? Who moves out first? And most importantly – Who am I? New rules also have to be negotiated. How do we tell the kids? How do we divide possessions? How do we talk to each other? What kind of relationship do we now have?

If children are involved, it is important to take great care in how you interact with your spouse you are divorcing and how you interact with your children. Many times loving parents unknowingly hurt their children directly (how they interact with their children) or indirectly (how they interact with others, including their spouse they are divorcing). Divorce doesn’t have to be fatally detrimental to the children, but it can be really harmful and hurtful if each isn’t careful of his/her role in the divorce.

Divorce is a time of loss and grief. Many times people are unaware of their losses and bury their pain. This can be hazardous on their future relationships. It is important to gain insight into what happened to you and your spouse when you met, when you married and when you divorced to further your growth and minimize the risk of falling into the same traps in your next relationship.

I truly understand how painful and serious divorce is. I work with clients empathically, yet in a directive style to increase awareness about their roles in their marriage. I help with this difficult time of transition by educating clients. I want clients to meet their goals while guiding them into opening up to finding more meaning in their relationship with themselves and others.