Jill Boultinghouse, MFT Therapist and Counselor

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Expectations of Mind-Reading Will Doom You

Often we consciously or subconsciously expect our partners to know what we want or need.  Just this morning I spoke with a client who said “If my husband does not know that is what is expected then we have a big problem!” Different is fine, but mind-reading is not.  Differences don’t kill a relationship, but impossible expectations do.  It is simply not humanly possible to mind-read and if you expect this in your relationships you will set yourself up for a lifetime of disappointments.  How can one possibly always know what another one wants or needs?

As adults, part of what makes us attractive and more successful in relationships (vs teens) is our ability to know ourselves and to take responsibility for knowing our needs and wants.  Our ability to articulate this part of ourselves makes us worthy partners.  Adulthood means its time to grow up and assume responsibility for knowing and asking (charmingly!) for what you want.

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